July 30, 2014

Miss Tori

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Miss Tori is a young, intelligent and exceptionally skilled disciplinarian who offers sessions in both Manhattan and Brooklyn. She specializes in “domestic scenes and severe corporal punishment with an emphasis on atonement.” 

  

It’s a pleasure to speak with you Miss Tori. To begin, please tell us what you do. 

I am a professional disciplinarian who offers consensual adult discipline to people who need it. 

   

I understand that you originally entered this profession as a bottom and then gradually segued into switching. How would you describe yourself now? 

I’m mostly a Top who also enjoys bottoming. I’m usually don’t advertise myself as a switch or a bottom right away because there are a lot of people out there who don’t understand what it means to have somebody bottom to you. That’s why I have a pretty strict screening process. 

What I like to say is that I’m a Top who also offers bottoming sessions, and I enjoy them both equally. 

   

MissToriNow that you’ve been a professional disciplinarian for a few years, how are you enjoying it? 

I love what I do. I love it very, very much. I have taken breaks from it here and there, but every time I come back it always seems to have refreshed itself. 

I still meet new people. I still find new, creative ways of holding sessions. Even though I occasionally need to set it aside professionally, it’s always something that I enjoy coming back to. 

   

Do you find that having experience as a bottom helps you as a Top? 

Absolutely, 100 percent. Having bottomed myself, I walk into each session with knowledge of what every implement is going to feel like, and the how every tone of voice is going to affect people. 

One thing I often hear at the end of my sessions, especially if they’ve been very heavy sessions, is that people feel safe with me. It’s comforting to them that I understand where they’re coming from. They feel that they can push themselves further. 

  

Are some clients nervous the first time they visit you? 

I do get some very visibly nervous people. What I usually ask is that people try to get over the terrible anxiety before they come see me, because it’s only natural that it’s going to escalate once we’re in the room together. I’ve seen men twice my height who think I’m somehow going to force them to do something that they don’t want to do, when they could easily drop kick me and run out. (Laughs.) 

   

What are some of the most common things that your clients are looking for? 

I mostly get requests for domestic scenes – like mother/son role play – which is basically just a loose framework for a session. There isn’t any very heavy role play. 

  

In your mind, what’s the difference between that kind of domestic discipline scene and what your website refers to as “severe corporal punishment?” 

I think that a corporal punishment scene is more emotionally distant. With a domestic discipline scene there’s a bit more talking through it. Whereas with a CP scene, the way I treat them, we understand that this is something serious and it’s not going to be dealt with with the same level of caring or deep emotional understanding. I think the rules are a little more stringent. This is what you’ve done, this is what’s going to happen, end of story. 

It should be noted though, that when it comes to domestic discipline scenes, simply because your auntie is more caring throughout, it doesn’t mean that the spanking is necessarily any lighter. 

  

Why do people need this, do you think? 

I think there are many reasons. One that doesn’t often come to mind is some people are into it for the endurance factor, especially my corporal clients. I used to see a young man close to my age who would come after his martial arts class. He just needed to continue testing himself for another hour or 90 minutes. I find that to be more common than some people think it is. 

Some other people have issues that they feel better about if they’re physically disciplined for them. 

I pretty much say that discipline is not a substitute for professional therapy. You need to have a good head on your shoulders before you come in and take a heavy session from me. This is by no means a cake walk when it’s done properly. But some people do feel better after they’ve taken a spanking or they just see things more clearly after they’ve had that shock to their system. 

  

Your website mentions an “emphasis on atonement.” What do you mean by that? 

This is actually something that I’ve taken from my friend Miss Holly, so I’d like to give credit where it’s due. Her view on it is, if you’re going to see her and you’re going to be called out for something, there is the expectation that you’re going to leave the room a better person. 

Her feeling is that, she’s not beating you just for the sake of beating you. This is a process you have to go through in order to get past what brought you here in the first place. That’s something that I agree with entirely. 

One of the things I like about professional play with long-term clients is that I can actually see that there’s growth. Sometimes they just take the spanking a little bit longer, or take a heavier session, but I can also see changes in personality. There are some people who’ve come to see me because of personal anxieties or issues with work, and over time I do see that they’ve moved forward. 

  

I understand that belting is a personal favorite of yours. Why so? 

When I first started, belting was an element of spanking that I had never considered. Then one fine day I got a call from a gentleman who had a very deep interest in wide women’s leather belts. The idea was very intriguing, that something you wear could be applied in a painful disciplinary way. 

I was bottoming that day, and I still remember that complete wallop as that belt cut through the air and struck my buttock, my thighs, and the side of my leg all in one fell swoop. My breath was taken away. It was incredible. 

It was a completely different, very comprehensible sensation. And it felt natural, because it was skin on skin. I just had to find out everything there was to do with it. I’m still fascinated. 

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Just for the record, is there any implement that you particularly despise as a bottom? 

There is one thing that gets me every time. Even though I do give tawsings, I hate receiving them. If you really need to discipline me, that is the tool. The thought of it still sends shivers down my spine – and I managed to get over caning. 

I think it’s just the way the implement feels. I’ve been tawsed by people who are fantastic – and it’s landing in the right spots – but ahhh the feeling. I don’t whether it’s the physics of it or not, but ohhh

  

What other implements do you favor? 

Let’s talking about receiving, since that’s where I can gush over them. I’m a big fan of leather implements. I have a favorite belt from Ralph Lauren that I’ve bent over and folded and it doesn’t look like a woman’s belt at all anymore. 

I’ve been very lucky to have been on the receiving end of several leather implements from London Tanners. I always feel very privileged to be disciplined with one of those. 

I’m also a big fan of canes, which is something that I never thought I’d get into. I love being caned. 

Oh, and my partner and I fell in love with this wooden bath brush from Duane Reede. I believe it is half maple and half bamboo and we call it Mr. Stripey. We love that little guy. Twelve bucks at Duane Reede, the best investment ever. We crack it open for special occasions. 

  

As a Top, what sorts of implements do you gravitate toward? 

Tawses. I love them. There is nothing that snaps people to attention more than those split tongues. 

I’m also a fan of hairbrushes. There’s a simple elegance to them and I’ve been given a lot of very beautiful hairbrushes over the years. That’s one of my favorite OTK implements. 

And third would be my hand. I’m proud that I’m able to give long hand spankings. People seem to be blown away when they first go over my knee, expecting just a one-two pat. 

  

So the tawse is your favorite implement as a Top and your least favorite as a bottom. That’s interesting. 

 Yeah. I’m kind of mean like that I guess. 

  

What is the key to a great spanking session? 

First and foremost it would be trust. Even though they may have a level of anxiety, what I admire about people who come to see me is that through the pre-session dance and any prior communications we’ve had, I’ve earned their trust. That is key. You have to trust me. 

   

During a session, how to you gauge a client’s physical and mental state to be able to take them where they need to go? 

I usually base it on a few things. I pride myself on being able to read people’s vocal cues and physical cues. I’m finely attuned to them.  

Once the session gets going, I actually have a tendency to look at people’s knees. I typically have clients bent over, so I watch and see if they’re able to support themselves between blows. 

I try not to let my sessions become a big counting fest, as that can get pretty redundant. So depending on the nature of the scene, I will ask questions pertaining to what their crime is or how they’re feeling. I’m not asking them, “Are you OK?” every 10 minutes, but I do a brief check. I’ll ask “How’s your bottom feeling?” or “Can you continue?” Then I can tell where they’re at by tone of voice.  

  

How important is scolding in a session? 

I really enjoy scolding. I don’t have a very prevalent Jersey accent, but in my sessions I find that I slip into it and it gets loud and it gets driving

I think that for people into domestic scenes, headspace is absolutely key. They need to not only feel what’s going on, but to hear it too. 

  

If a client is interested in contacting you, what is the best way to do that? 

The best way is to visit my Blog. There you can find all my spanking misadventures as well as session information and ways to contact me. 

  

When someone initiates that first contact, what is the proper decorum? 

Well, your first name would be fantastic. I love to know who I’m talking to. 

Also, I have no problem answering questions or discussing the session you have in mind, but please have a sense of what you’re looking for. It helps me help you have an excellent session.