We’ve spoken before about the bun-burning power of Dana Specht’s short Spencer paddle. However, if that’s not enough of a deterrent to keep the boys in line, then Dana can always move up to the nuclear option: Her heavy Spencer paddle.

As you can see, this man-sized implement is dotted with holes to reduce air resistance and maximize impact. No doubt those sadistic perforations also raise a garden of welts on any unprotected bottom in their path.